Finding Freedom to Perform
Have You Ever Achieved More by Focusing Less on the Outcome?
Last weekend, I ran the Pittsburgh Half Marathon, my favorite event of the year. It’s been over six years since I lived in Pittsburgh, but there’s something so special about this weekend and the incredible team at P3R (the organization behind the marathon) that keeps me coming back.
If you’ve been following along, you know this past year and a half has challenged me a bit physically. Recovering from shoulder surgery and slowly learning to honor what I can do. So, for the love of the run and exploring what’s possible, I made a different choice for this race. I let go of the pressure to perform.
For the first time ever, I ran the course without my watch.
What’s the big deal? Well for years, my watch was my accountability partner and biggest critic. It told me when I was strong, but it also reminded me when I wasn’t fast enough, on pace, or getting better. Without it, how did I possibly know?
I didn’t. Because for so long, that was the standard of measurement. My worth was validated by performance. If nothing was tracked, did it even count?
Let’s see what happens.
No pace checks, no mile splits… and if you know me, you know definitely no math. Yes, there are clocks along the course, but calculating pace along the way would’ve required me to subtract my chip time from the official start and divide it by mileage? Lol.
And somehow... I ended up finishing the race with my fastest time yet.
I’m learning that letting go of metrics doesn’t mean letting go of effort. What it does is lift the weight we place on outcomes. Because sometimes, the pressure to perform is the very thing that holds us back. And when we release the need to prove something, we actually create more space to be in the moment.
There’s no place to run like Pittsburgh. The rain, the hills, the bridges…And just when you think it doesn’t get any better, it does. The spectators, the volunteers, the music along the course. It’s something that can’t be explained, only experienced. I waved to friends, snapped selfies, high-five kids, read the signs; “Seems like a lot of work for a free banana.” and “You paid money for this?” I can’t help but smile and keep going.
Maybe it was my increased awareness, connection with others, and shared energy that allowed me to run more freely. It’s a funny paradox in a way… When we focus too much on the result, we often limit what we’re actually capable of gaining in the process.
And while a 9:12 pace resulted in a personal best for me on this course, that is merely a jog in the park for someone else.
That’s why comparison doesn’t work.
After I completed my half marathon, I waited at the finish line to watch thousands of others conquer their own race. I witnessed a woman complete her 200th marathon. And minutes later, I got to cheer for my cousin on the final stretch of her very first marathon. A moment I’ll never forget.
It’s both—knowing what it took for someone I love to get there, and honoring the unseen journeys of complete strangers.
Running is relative, and that’s the beauty of it. We’re all moving through different seasons in life, and measuring yourself against someone else robs you of the joy in your own journey. When we learn to honor our path and celebrate others on theirs, we create space for connection, possibilities, and maybe some unexpected breakthroughs.
This experience reminded me of one of my favorite quotes from Dr. Pippa Grange’s book Fear Less:
“Imagine this: success that has nothing to do with your worth as a person and everything to do with the joy of getting to know yourself as a human being. You’d no longer see winning in terms of war with yourself and everyone else. You could cultivate a mentality that’s about expansion and experience and connection to others, not dominance and gain. How further might you go, and how different might it feel?”
More on Endurance Diaries Podcast 🎧 How I Unlocked a Personal Best Without Wearing a Fitness Watch